Tears And Broken Hearts
by every-rose-has-a-thorn
Summary: "NO!" Sirius screamed into the still night air. His heart was breaking as he saw his best friend lying dead on the floor. "You said you'd always be there for me Prongs… YOU SAID YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME!"


Tears- Sirius&Harry

Sirius Black had only ever cried twice in his life.

The first time was when his father had beaten him, tortured him, made him scream in agony until he was finally lay broken on the floor. It had been a small thing that had sparked it off and a simple reply that caused Sirius' life to change for good. Before then his father had beaten him yes, strapped him with his belt and slapped him until his face was almost permanently bruised throughout the holidays. However he never resisted. How could he? He was only a boy, not even old enough to use magic outside of school.

And he hated it. He hated the way he was powerless, the way the beatings made him seem weak. He hated the way he was different, the way they were filled with such rubbish. He knew muggleborns were not beneath him- heck if he told Lily anything his family said, he probably would have been hanging from the ceiling by his balls by now. No, Sirius knew the truth. Sirius knew how to love, how to protect, how to be loyal.

They could call him a traitor, a traitor to his family, to his ancestors, to his blood, but one thing Sirius Black would not stand for was when people insulted his friends. They had always been his weakness, and a weakness Sirius was willing to accept and embrace with open arms because he loved them. He loved them all and was fiercely loyal to them. They set him apart from his family.

That was why he reacted so strongly to his father asking his brother if he could bear the smell of the impure blood at Hogwarts. Perhaps it was years of built up tension that caused Sirius to snap or perhaps it was the fact that Remus was halfblood and Lily muggleborn and he knew all the things said were lies. Either way he was always the black sheep of the family. This just finalised it all.

Regalus didn't have time to reply to their father. Whatever he had began to say was drowned out by the clatter of Sirius' chair as it flew backwards, hitting the wall with a crash. His handsome face was contorted with rage as he stood up to confront his father. His parents glanced up in shock and his mother snapped, "Sit down boy."

"No." Sirius replied, through gritted teeth. He was glaring at his whole family with a look of disgust and anger.

"What did you say?" Mrs. Black screeched but she was silenced by her husband slowly rising from his chair.

"How dare you. How dare you defy your parents?" His voice was dangerously soft.

"Because I hate you! I hate your views, I hate your personality and I fucking hate everything that you believe in! You lie- there is no blood supremacy! Muggles, muggleborns, and half bloods- they're not beneath us! They are no different to us! I'm sure that they're cleverer than you! You're nothing but a deluded old fool and I hate you for it. I hate the fact I'm related to you!" Sirius stopped to take a breath, his toned chest heaving up and down.

Orion Black didn't say anything. He didn't have to. The sight of him pulling out his wand was enough to make Sirius stiffen with terror and swallow anything he had been about to say. He tried to be brave, he tried to not call out or show his pain but the Cruciatus Curse was strong, a well practised spell at the hand of the senior Black.

It felt like hours later of constant torture did Orion Black decide to retire for bed and left the room without a backward glance at his son. His parting words had simply been to 'get out and never return'. Sirius was left broken on the floor in a pool of his own blood. His resolve not to scream had been broken several minutes into the torture and he had almost passed out a little later. It was only the thought of his friends that kept Sirius going. He was determined not to give in to his father's wishes, to say that he was right, to betray his friends.

Sirius dimly registered the sound of a door shutting before there was silence. Sirius opened his eyes, almost being blinded by the light even though it was dark outside and Sirius felt like his whole body was on fire. He struggled to sit up as he tested for broken bones. He certainly had several broken ribs, his whole left arm from his elbow downwards was almost numb with pain and he couldn't move his fingers and his right shoulder seemed to be dislocated.

However he forced himself to stand up and reach for his wand which lay a few meters away from him where his father had kicked it after Sirius' futile attempt to retaliate. He limped over to it and picked it up before, with an agonising cry, twisting in the air and disapperating to the first, safe place he could think of.

James' House.

Sirius Black arrived as a bloody mess outside the red front door of the Potter's house in Godric's Hollow. The whole house was dark, as was the rest of the street. A beautiful climbing plant was curled around the doorframe, red and yellow and white flowers all in bloom. There were rose bushes lining the front face of the house and an apple blossom tree was littering the green lawn with white petals however Sirius noticed none of this.

With the greatest effort it had ever cost him, Sirius reached up to the gold lion shaped knocker on the door and knocked. It took several minutes before a familiar face opened the door. James' sleepy eyes could faintly make out his best friend's silhouette, his eyes not used to being open.

"Sirius what the hell are you doing at my house at half three in the- Sirius what the fuck happened to you?" James' mouth fell open as his eyes adjusted and he could see the actual state of his closest friend.

His normally smooth, glossy black hair was a mess and covered with dry blood, his grey eyes were both black and several large bruises covered his face along with some nasty scratches. The normally strong postured boy was bent over slightly, his bloodied left arm wrapped around his ribs as he leant on one of his legs. One of his arms lay limply by his side, clutching his wand. His whole body was battered, bruised and torn to pieces. He was covered in his own blood and was making a small puddle on the welcome mat. The biggest difference though was his expression. It was broken.

Sirius opened his mouth to try and say something witty to his friend but instead, to his great embarrassment Sirius burst into tears. Sobs wracked his whole body as he shook and started to fall to the floor. James grabbed him as gently as possible and supported him as he guided him into the kitchen.

"Padfoot…Pads..what the heck happened? You're a mess." James asked as he hugged his friend consolingly.

"My father…I spoke…out..against..him…" Sirius' voice trembled with pain and was barely audible.

James looked horrified as he heard his normally strong friend seem so broken. "Don't cry. I'll be here. You'll always have me…."

"NO!" Sirius screamed into the still night air. His heart was breaking as he saw his best friend lying dead on the floor. He collapsed down by his side and looked into his lifeless hazel eyes. "You said you'd always be there for me Prongs… YOU SAID YOU WOULD ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME!"

It was then that the tears came. They came thick and fast, falling from Sirius' grey eyes onto his best friend's shoulder once more but there was no longer life in the once dancing eyes. There was no witty comment that could cause uncontrollable laughter. No cheeky grin that could charm even the coldest of hearts (McGonagall's). No comforting words, bracing comments, no cheerful encouragement. Never again would he hear the soft tones of Lily Potter's voice, never again would James Potter grace the world with his effortless mayhem.

His best friends were gone and it was all Sirius' fault…

Now fifteen years later more tears were falling but this time they were from green eyes, not grey, but they held the same brokenness and loss that Sirius' eyes had held all those years ago on that fateful night. Sirius Black was dead and gone. Sirius Black had left this world- had deprived it of his bark-like laughter and handsome presence. Sirius Black had abandoned his life. Had abandoned Harry.

Harry cried for his godfather, cried for his lost life, and continued to cry. All the years of pain and hardship that had built up inside Harry flowed out in salty raging torrents from behind his glasses. They dropped off his nose and chin and soaked his school robes as he sat hunched up on the ground. He felt abandoned, forgotten, alone.

He didn't move all night and in the morning nobody could reach him. Harry wouldn't move, wouldn't talk, laugh, or smile, he couldn't even cry anymore. He simply felt broken. Numb with the pain of losing his godfather- the only other person who cared about him after his own, long dead parents. And Harry had cried for them also. He had cried, like Sirius had, for the loss of Lily and James Potter, for the loss of happiness and a life worth living.

Harry Potter, the boy who lived, had finally been beaten, broken, abandoned and had given up. The tears never seemed to stop falling inside. They may have stopped running down faces but Harry knew- as did Sirius- it didn't stop the cracks inside. It takes a lot to fix a broken heart, a cure that nobody had yet found.

**Please Review! :) I just wrote this on the spur of the moment- I hope you enjoy it! 3**


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